Alec in Wonderland
by IamSpaceman
Summary: Alec wakes up on the Instituted coach to a white clad Jace running around screaming about being late? Huh?
1. Chapter 1

Alec woke slowly, light shining in his eyes. "Magnus?" he said as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. As he lowered his hands and looked around he realized he was on the couch in the Institute, not in Magnus' big, fluffy bed. Which was odd. He distinctly remembered falling asleep the night before with Magnus' thin arms wrapped around his waist… and his warm breath on the back of his neck… their legs tangled together…

Alec shook the images out of his head before he had a – ahem- _problem _to deal with.

He stood up and looked around. The Institute looked especially deserted today. He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Jace! Izzy! Anybody home?" he yelled. When no one answered he sighed and started fishing around in his pockets for his cell phone to call Magnus.

He froze as he heard footsteps thumping down the stairs. As he turned to identify whoever it was, he was unnerved to see Jace dressed in a white suit with white Halloween bunny ears sitting on his head, looking worried.

"Jace?" he said. "What's wrong?" But Jace completely ignored Alec and, without looking at him, pulled out a silver pocket watch.

"I'm late!" he exclaimed before sprinting out the Institute's door.

"Jace? Jace, come back!" Alec yelled, following after him. "Jace, what are you late for?"

Jace continued to ignore Alec and kept running, still yelling "I'm late!"

As Alec followed after him he took an abrupt right turn and disappeared. "Jace!" Alec yelled at the empty air where Jace used to be as he started to skid to a halt. "Where did y- Ahhh!" He cut himself off because just as he came to a complete stop, the ground opened up beneath his feet and swallowed him whole.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I was going to wait until tomarrow to post this chapter, but then just a few minutes ago a recieved a review from Wolf of the Dawn and asked me to update and said please... twice. So here it is :)**

Alec was tumbling head over heels into a deep, deep hole. As he fell, his body suddenly righted itself, as if an invisible hand and reached down and straightened him. Now he was falling feet first instead of flipping. As he fell he noticed shelves lining the dirt walls of the hole, stacked with random items: books, lamps, clocks, teddy bears, pens, ink pots, etc. After what seemed like hours to Alec, but very well could have been just mere minutes or seconds, he began to wonder if this hole really was what it seemed to be: bottomless. Even if it wasn't, after the amount of time he'd been falling and the velocity he must be going, he would surly die on impact. It was then he saw the floor. It came upon him fast, but just as his feet were about to touch the ground, his whole body jerked to a stop. He hung in the air for a moment before he dropped down, straight on his behind.

Alec stood up, rubbing the spot of impact, and looked around. He was in a room with a small round table in the middle and a little tiny door on the opposite wall. He glanced above him at the hole, knowing there was no way he would be able to get back out that way, before walking over to the door.

The door stood about as high as his palm and was even smaller than what he had first thought. There was obviously no way he could fit through the door. He was stuck there. He turned around angrily, angry at Jace for getting him into this mess, angry at himself for following him, and angry at whoever had built this stupid, _stupid _hole, and brought his foot back to kick the table before noticing something he hadn't before. There as a bottle on the table with a little label on it that said _drink me._ A million things ran through Alec's head, _poison _being one that frequented, but decided that even if it did kill him it wouldn't matter. With no way out he was stuck here for life anyway.

He popped of the top and chugged it down.

Alec immediately felt something happening to his body, though he couldn't identify what. There was a roaring in his ears and he felt his stomach clench as a tingling enveloped his body that was not painful, but very uncomfortable. He clenched his eyes closed against the foreign feeling. Above the roaring, he could just make out the squeaking of his sneakers against the floor.

Then, just as suddenly as it began, it stopped. The tingling was gone and he no longer heard the roaring. He opened his eyes slowly and marveled at what he saw.

The table that before stood about the height of his knees now towered above him like a skyscraper. How did it get so big? As he looked around some more he realized it wasn't the table that had gotten bigger. The ceiling was higher and when he turned around the teeny tiny door was just his size. He had shrunk.

_What now?_ He thought to himself. What do you do when you fall down a ridiculously deep hole, find yourself in a mysterious room, drink a questionable beverage, and shrink to the size of a mouse?

You go through a tiny door, of course.

Alec sighed and opened the door to find a forest behind it. A normal sized forest. Which made him the smallest creature out there. He suddenly pictured himself being swallowed up by snakes, snatched up by birds, stepped on by giant boots, getting caught in giant spider webs. He spun on his heel to rush back through the door but the door had already swung shut, leaving him abandoned in the gargantuan wilderness. Alec grabbed the door knob with both hands and twisted it, first left, then right, then left again, right, left, right, left, before finally giving up and giving the solid wood door a good hard kick that left him hopping on one foot and cursing into oblivion.


	3. Chapter 3

Alec's breath hissed out between his teeth angrily. What was going on here, anyway? Where had that hole come from? How did he stop in thin air, something keeping him from staining the walls with his guts (ew)? How did he shrink? And most importantly, _how the hell is there a forest underground?_ There was something fishy going on here and Alec was determined to find out what.

His eyes darted around, quickly picking up on the narrow path running through the grass that now, in his shrunken state, was just as tall as he was. As he started down the path, mumbling obscenities to himself, he started to hear voices.

"Happy un-birthday, Marchy!", "And a very happy un-birthday to you too, Hatter!" and the likes were being shouted into the air, whoever it was obviously not knowing that someone could hear them, that or they just simply didn't care. Alec's mind, clouded still with anger, faintly registered that the voices were familiar and hurried toward them, longing for a familiar face.

As he neared the end of the path, he saw a great table, this one big enough to sit probably 12 people, and two people sitting at the table. His eyes widened.

Maia was sitting in a chair close to the end holding a cup of tea. Like Jace, she had Halloween bunny ears atop her head, only these ones were brown, matching her hair. She was wearing an old-fashion brown suit with a bow tie.

At the end of the table sat Magnus, also holding a cup of tea. He was wearing a big top hat with a paper stuck in the band that read _10/6._ His hair that was poking out haphazardly under the hat was streaked with orange. Magnus also wore an old-fashion suit, this one in a dirty-looking dark greenish color, with a big bow tie.

Alec, finally shaking out of his stupor from seeing his boyfriend playing tea party with the werewolf girl, started running towards the ginormous duo. "Magnus! Magnus!" he yelled. "Magnus, down here!"

Magnus, his huge smile never leaving his face, turned to face him. "Look, Marchy!" he said loudly. "Alice is here! Your terribly late you know. Naughty naughty." He waved his finger in the air as he said this in the universal 'bad boy' sign. After the scolding he laid his hand on the ground, palm up. "Climb up and I will put you on the table, then we can set you up with some tea!"

Alec, not knowing what to make of the situation, and not aware he was late for anything, especially a tea party, climbed onto Magnus' hand. Magnus, as promised, sat him on the table.

"Now, here's your tea!" Magnus said, putting a cup of tea taller than Alec in front of him.

"Magnus, don't you think that that's a little big for me?"

Magnus blinked. "Oh, of course!" he said suddenly, slapping his palm against his forehead, knocking his hat askew slightly. "How silly of me!" He then reached into his breast pocket on his suit and pulled out a tiny tea cup complete with a tiny saucer, just the right size for Alec. After filling it up he handed it to the tiny teen.

"Erm, Magnus? Do you usually carry miniscule dishes in your pockets?"

"Of course!" Magnus shouted. Alec flinched. "How else would I entertain my tiny guests?"

"I-I don't know." Alec said. He lifted the just-his-size tea cup up and was about to take a sip when he caught a whiff of it. "Magnus is this really tea?" he asked suspiciously.

"You doubt me, Alice? Of course it's tea!" Magnus laughed.

"It smells like- wait, did you just call me Alice?"

"Of course, that is your name, isn't it?"

"No, my name is Alec, you know that!" Alec said, the suspicious tea now sitting at his feet, forgotten for now.

"No, I insist your name is Alice. It's always been Alice. Every time you visit, you are Alice." Magnus said with conviction. "Isn't that right, Marchy?"

"Oh yes, yes indeed, Hatter." Maia said, nodding vigorously.

"Magnus, what's in that tea?" Alec asked, getting exasperated. He was convinced that whatever was making his boyfriend act so strangely was in that tea.

"Oh, a little of this, a little of that, you know, Alice, the usual." Magnus said with a shrug.

"Magnus, my name is _Alec! _Not _Alice!_"

"No, your name is-"

"DOWN WITH THE BLOODY RED QUEEN!" Maia suddenly shouted.

Alec jumped backwards, knocking into a giant tea kettle, one of dozens scattered across the table. The tea kettle fell over with a _clang_ and out tumbled a ball of gray fur. The ball of fur shook itself out and stretched 4 legs and a tail becoming visible, then a head.

"I-is that Chairman Meow?" Alec will never make fun of the size of the cat again. Now Chairman towered over him, looking at him with hungry eyes. The cat lowered its head, tail flicking in the air. Alec began to back away slowly, but it was too late.

Chairman pounced.

**A/N Yeah, I know, it really doesn't make much sense. Not even to me. But it is currently 7:14 AM and I have literally stayed up all night with no sleep, not to type this up, to do other things as well, and I wrote this over the course of time between when I posted the last chapter and now. Sorry Patricia Sage, I know you were supposed to get ARC versions of my chapters but I'm sure you're not on at the moment and wouldn't get it until after I post it anyway. Reviews for the insanely tired author? :)**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I just read over my last chapter again because I got a review from Bookworm24601 saying

"O.o

How very strange..."

And so I read it back over and, wow, it made less since that I thought it did. Oh well, this is a crack story anyway :) Just wanted you guys to know that yes, I am aware and the lack of since chapter 3 makes :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I FOUND A WAY ONTO THE INTERNET! Everyone can give me a pat on the back through review or PM :) Lol, jk, but sorry for not updating before this. My internet has been down since Easter weekend due to storms and my mom's stubborness to not call the company so I've only been able to get on the internet through my phone UNTIL NOW! :D Thank my wonderful older sister for letting me use her internet (hers didn't get knocked out *coughbitchcough*) anyway, I'm sure I'm boring you, so ON WTIH THE STORY!**

**PS: If you've never heard the song California by Metro Station, I highly recomend listening to it. It has nothing to do with the chapter, but listen to it anyway :)**

Alec threw his hands in front of his face trying to protect it from the cat's teeth and claws. When nothing happened he slowly lowered his arms to see Chairman Meow hovering in the air, looking severely pissed off. He glanced over at Magnus whose eyes were narrowed and smile had faded. His hand was held out over the table, fingers splayed, keeping Chairman in his place.

"We do not attack our guests, _Mallymkun."_ Magnus said, spitting the name like a curse.

"Mallymkun? Is that not Chairman Meow?" Alec asked. "And on that note, why do you keep calling Maia Marchy, and why does she keep calling you Hatter?"

Magnus stopped glaring at Chairman and looked over at Alec. "What is this you speak of, Alice? _I _am the Mad Hatter, and this is my cohort the March Hair," he said, indicating first himself, then Maia. "Why you call us Magnus and Maia, I don't know. But whatever makes you happy, Alice." He finished with a shrug.

Alec growled in frustration and dropped down on his butt, crossing his arms over his chest. "I give up."

Chairman Meow dropped onto the table as Magnus lowered his hand and hopped into another tea kettle. Magnus frowned at Alec. "Hey, why are you so small?"

Alec glared at him. "You _just _noticed that?"

Magnus took a sip of his tea. "Noticed what?"

"Ahh!" Alec cried out.

"Do you want me to make you big?" Magnus asked as he set down his cup.

"Yes!" Alec said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Alright," Magnus said. He rolled up his sleeves and held his hands out toward Alec as blue sparks started to spout from his fingertips. "Let's see if I remember how to do this."

"Wait, what?"

Too late. Magnus cast the spell and Alec felt the same feeling he did when he shrank. His hands instinctively flew up to cover his ears as his eyes squeezed shut. When it was over he tentatively cracked one eye open and when everything seemed normal he opened the other.

"Yes! It worked!" Magnus said with a fist pump. "And you say my magic never works!" The last bit was towards Maia.

Maia grinned over her tea. "Look again, Hatter. He seems to have something extra growing out of his backside."

Alec's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates and he twisted around to look behind him. Coming from the space between his jeans and his shirt a furry, black tail was swinging. "What the _hell?"_

"Shit!" Magnus said. "How did that happen?"

"That _always_ happens." Maia pointed out.

"Not always!" Magnus insisted. "Last time it was an extra eye."

"And the time before that, you made the Cheshire cat furry all over."

"Wait!" Alec interrupted. "If he's a cat, then wouldn't he be furry anyway?"

The pair turned their attention back to him. "First off," Maia said. "The Cheshire cat is a girl."

"And second," Magnus continued. "She's not really a cat."

"So then why…?" Alec started. "You know what? Never mind. Now Magnus, can you get rid of this tail?"

Magnus wiggled his fingers and grinned. "I could try."

"I wouldn't." Maia warned. "He'll probably make it worse."

"No I wouldn't!" Magnus said, swinging around to glare at Maia.

"Yes you would!"

"No I wouldn't!"

"Yes you would!" As Maia said this she slammed her palms down and leaned over the table.

"Nuh-uh!" Magnus said, imitating her actions.

"Uh-_huh!"_

"Nuh-_uh!"_

"Uh-_huh!"_

"Al_right!"_ Alec yelled. "I _get it! _Hatter version of Magnus sucks at magic!"

Magnus swung back around to glare at Alec. "I do not suck!"

"No offense Magnus, but you kind of do. If you need proof, just look at this." Alec caught hold of his tail and held it out for Magnus to see.

"Fine." Magnus said, crossing his arms over his chest and slumping down in his chair, pouting.

Alec couldn't help but grin. Magnus looked adorable pouting like that.

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Something funny, Alice?"

Alec stopped grinning, but was still very much amused. "Of course not, _Hatter." _

"Well, well, well," a, slightly familiar, voice suddenly said. "What do we have here? Alice? With a tail? What did you do this time, Hatter?"

"I haven't done anything, Chesh." Magnus said to the air, pouting again. "Why do you always assume it was me?"

"Because, Hatter," the voice replied. "It's always you." In front of Alec a body materialized, a girl wearing tight purple clothes with long, black hair, and had purple Halloween cat ears on her head, facing Magnus. _What is it with all the Halloween stuff? _Alec thought to himself.

"So what did you do to this poor boy?" the Cheshire cat continued. Then Alec realized why he recognized her voice.

"Isabelle?"

Isabelle ignored Alec and crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Magnus expectantly.

Magnus sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine. So _maybe _I tried to _un-shrink_ him and _maybe _I _accidentally _gave him a_ tail_."

Isabelle chuckled. "Wow, Hatter. You're really bad."

"I'll have you know that my magic doesn't always fail."

Isabelle raised an eyebrow. "Name one time."

Magnus opened his mouth then closed it again, thinking. "Oh!" he said, then snapped his fingers, making a tea cup full of tea appear in his hand. "Take that, Chesh!" he said triumphantly and took a sip. His eyes got wide and he turned his head to the side, spitting the tea on the ground. "Ugh! Gross!"

Isabelle laughed. "I told you, Hatter, you're _bad!"_

Alec, feeling slightly uncomfortable and left out, spoke up then. "So if Mag- Hatter can't help me with this," he held up the end of his tail again. "How do I get rid of it?"

Isabelle turned and looked at him for the first time. "Well, I believe the only one who can help you with that is the Red Queen."

"And who's the Red Queen?" Alec asked.

"She runs Wonderland." Isabelle explained. "Hence the _queen_ part of her name."

"Where can I find this Red Queen person?"

"I can't help you there. You can only find her if she wants to be found. She controls everything in Wonderland, including the paths. The only way you can request an audience with the Queen is by talking to the Caterpillar."

Alec's eyes narrowed. "And I'm guessing that he's not _really _a caterpillar, like you're not _really _a cat, am I right?"

"You are correct, Alice. He is just simply a man. You can find him if you just walk straight down that path." She pointed at a path leading through the trees, then a mysterious grin stretched across her face. "If, that is, the Queen doesn't change them before you reach him." And with that she disappeared.

Alec stared at the empty air for a moment. "Well, that was odd." He said finally. "Since when can Isabelle transport?"

"I don't know about this Isabelle person," Magnus said from his chair, studying his nails. "But Chesh has always been able to transport."

"Well," Alec said as he slid off the table, carful of his tail. "Not that this hasn't been lovely, but I have to go and find this Caterpillar person, then the Red Queen."

"I'll go with you!" Magnus said suddenly, standing up from his big chair.

Alec looked over at Magnus. "Are you sure, Magnus? What about Mai-" He stopped as he caught sight of Maia. She was sleeping with her head laid down on the table on top of her arms. He sighed. "Fine. Come on, Magnus."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Hey guys! I managed to update (even though I STILL don't have internet). Show your appreciation in review form ;) Anyway, you've waited long enough, enjoy the chapter :)**

Alec trudged down the path with his hands in his pockets and his tail flicking back and forth subconsciously. Magnus skipped cheerily next to him. Well, not _literally_ skipping, but he might as well be. He was chattering about some bear-sized wolverine he had met that wasn't very pleasant at first, but his charming good looks and sparkling personality won him over and they ended up having tea. Alec faintly registered that he had heard somewhere that a bear-sized wolverine would be the strongest animal on Earth, but shoved it to the back of his mind.

"Magnus!" Alec said, stopping him when he was getting to the part about when the wolverine spilled his tea in the March Hare's lap. "Could you possibly stop talking for a moment?"

Magnus looked taken aback, and slightly insulted, but stopped talking nonetheless. Alec felt a twang of guilt, but couldn't bring himself to care. He was too tired after the weird day of falling down holes, shrinking, _un_-shrinking, getting a tail, and every other odd thing that _definitely _didn't happen every day.

Even if he was a Shadowhunter he was _not _used to this kind of shit happening.

As Alec and Magnus traveled along the path, Alec started seeing blue smoke floating through the air, the farther they walked the thicker it got.

"What _is_ this?" he said, coughing. "A forest fire?"

Magnus chuckled. "No," he said. "It's just the Caterpillar."

Just as Magnus said that the path opened up into a large clearing, a man smoking an old-fashioned pipe thing (A/N If anyone knows what that thing that the caterpillar smokes that sits on the ground, then please feel free to tell me) sitting on a huge mushroom. As Alec got closer he realized who the man was. "Dad?"

"Who," Robert said lazily, smoke escaping his lips as he spoke. "Are you?"

Alec scolded himself. Of course that wasn't his father. No one here, no matter how much they looked like the people from New York, were really the people he knows.

"_Who,"_ Robert repeated, leaning over the edge of his mushroom. "Are _you?"_

"Alexander Lightwood," Alec informed him politely. "But I go by Alec."

"Alice. I knew an Alice."

Alec huffed and began to correct him, but Robert began speaking again. "You are not the same Alice, are you? If so, the Red Queen will want to see you…"

Alec saw his sure fire chance to see the Red Queen. "Of course I'm the same Alice," he said, trying to sound insulted. Magnus gave him a strange look. He _had _been denying being Alice since he got there. "You don't recognize me?"

"I do not bother learning faces... especially faces of teenagers like you."

"What do you me-" Alec began, but once again got cut off.

"You shall have to see the Red Queen immediately. Off with you now." Robert waved his hand in the air and suddenly Alec was standing in the middle of a great ballroom, a woman he recognized standing at the other end speaking with Jace, err, the White Rabbit rather.

Wait, _she's_ the Red Queen?


	7. Author's Note

Ok, my chapters are coming, I promise! I just don't know when. When I finish them. I'm on my sister's internet again, but I should get internet no later than Tuesday which means – drum roll please – more frequent updates! Hold your applause, please. :) Ok, serious now, it warms my heart to see people who like my stories follow me on twitter, so if you have one, check out my profile and click on the link and follow me :D then you can send me ideas or a little "Get your ass going on –insert story here - !" That's all I have to say, I'll try to get the next chapter up soon :)


	8. Chapter 8

As Alec stared he felt long fingers press into his back.

"Don't just _stand _there!"

Alec looked behind him to see Magnus. "Go _talk_ to her!"

Alec nodded and stepped forward, clearing his throat. "Excuse me.."

The Red Queen turned from her conversation with Ja- er, the White Rabbit, and looked at Alec.

"Alice! So you've finally arrived. How are you my dear?" the Red Queen said in a bored, forced mannerly tone.

"Not at my best." Alec sighed, his tail flicking back and forth again.

The Red Queen circled him curiously. "Now _this _is new," she said, grabbing his tail in a tight grip. Alec flinched. "Where did you get this? Did you stumble into one of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum's fights and get hit with the cross fire?"

"No. _He_ gave it to me." Alec said, pointing at Magnus. Magnus pressed a hand to his chest with a _who, me? _expression.

"Ah, Hatter. I wasn't expecting you to be here." The Red Queen said, letting Alec's tail loose, which twitched around in annoyance. "What are you doing with Alice?"

"I'm the one who found her." Magnus sniffed, crossing his arms and putting his nose in the air.

The Red Queen rolled her blue eyes. "I don't care if you found Alice, what did I tell you about fraternizing with the Alices?"

Magnus let his arms fall and looked at the floor like a scolded child. "'No touching, looking at, speaking to, or otherwise communicating with the Alices.'" He quoted.

"That's right. Now go sit." The Red Queen said and pointed to a chair against the wall. Magnus walked over and sat, head hanging.

Alec watched all this, feeling guilty.

"Now, let's see what we can to about that tail of yours." The Red Queen said, snapping Alec out of his guilty trance.

"Oh, yes," Alec said. "The tail." He caught his tail and held it still. The Red Queen looked it over carefully, then stood up with a smile. "I know exactly what to do, Alec."

Alec smiled back. "Well, that's wonder- wait, did you just call me Alec?" he asked, the smile falling from his face.

The Red Queen looked shocked. "What? Of course not! I called you Alice."

Alec shook his head. "No, you called me Alec. I never told you my real name."

"What? No, I – I said – Why I never – " The Red Queen sputtered, then turned towards Magnus "Mayday!" she said, looking desperate. Magnus waved his hand and everything went black.

A/N Yes, yes, I know. I lied. This wasn't soon as I had promised. I did not do more frequent updates. I'm sorry. I'm a dirty, dirty liar. Feel free to leave hate mail in my inbox.

PS Btw, first one to guess who the Red Queen is gets a cookie ;)


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